By Esther Olamoyegun

Nearly All the Men in Lagos are Mad by Damilare Kuku; Mosobe Books, October 2021.

Lagos has a culture of its own that defines certain social norms, different from other parts of Nigeria. Whether it is as a result of the mixed ethnicities who form its residence or its history since its existence, this cannot be determined. In her debut short story collection, Damilare Kuku examines this fast-developing culture through a sociological lens to shine the light on certain norms and practices in the Lagos dating and romantic relationship space.

A certain context of the title of the book is required for every reader. There are so many tales of “Lagos men” and their behaviours that are often seen as being promiscuous. Several terms like “Yoruba demons”, “beard gang” and other street phrases like “fear Lagos men” as well as the general perception of the male gender in Lagos, give Nearly All the Men in Lagos are Mad credibility. 

The book opens with a humorous story on how a woman handled an unfaithful husband and his family, by threatening to cut his manhood off. The story, “Cuck Up” then reveals the events that led to the point of being questioned by the man’s family. Damilare Kuku uses this story to draw in readers and promise them that they are in for a ride as they continue to turn the pages of the book. And quite frankly, the book delivers on its promise.

Damilare Kuku explores and describes popular perceptions and tropes peculiar to “Lagos men” and the city’s dating scene with the 12 short stories that the book is made of. One of the particular stories that stand out is “The Anointed Wife”. In this story, Kuku humorously describes the life of a Pastor’s wife or “Mummy GO” and how often, she is forced to live a life she does not really enjoy and bear the consequences for her husband’s (a Lagos man) excesses. The story also makes a slight mockery of what obtains in many Pentecostal churches in the city, and the characters of the leaders of the churches. Most importantly, this story seeks to reinforce the frivolities and care-free nature of Lagos men, pastor or not.

One prevalent theme in Nearly All Men in Lagos are Mad is the role that misogyny plays in virtually all the actions of the men in the stories. It’s like Damilare Kuku is establishing the fact that in most cases, the brazen actions of Lagos men as well as their complete disregard for the feelings of their romantic partners is anchored on the fact that the society gives them room for such bad behaviour. In “the Gigolo from Isale Eko” story, the main character, Iggy is a young man who is getting married for the third time, and whose previous marriages began and ended under very peculiar circumstances that would make most readers amazed at how one person can get away with no strings after hurting many people. Another story that fully depicts this theme of misogyny, is “Side-Lined”. In this story, Genevieve (or Genny), a young woman with dreams and ambitions falls for the charms of a married Lagos man, Odili. She did not know that he is married, as the two have a whirlwind romance that many can only dream of. She ignored certain pointers and believed so much in the relationship, till she found out that he had an entirely different life from the one he had with her. The nonchalance and lack of remorse from Odili after being “caught” shows how often, men get away with hurting people, as misogyny sees these things as “normal”. 

The author’s storytelling ability is apt and catchy, interesting and uses a lot of humour. The general air of the book is relaxed yet heartrending, as it takes readers on a ride to the lives and actions of men residing in Lagos. All the stories are also told with a certain freshness that only someone who is in tune with the happenings in the society, particularly the romantic lifestyle in the city, can understand. Kuku also highlights the roles that the women (and men) on the receiving end of the frivolities of Lagos men. In this collection, the women of Lagos push back, threatening fire and brimstone on their male counterparts, although briefly. But little happens in this regard, as there is a certain resignation to the whims and charms of these men. 

Somehow, the book reinforces all the perceptions of the “Lagos men phenomenon” with all the stories in the collection. In every story, every type of Lagos man is highlighted. The rich, the poor, the educated and uneducated, the old and young and men from different social backgrounds have basically the same flippant attitude. The “International Relations” story shows that even foreigners who have lived in Lagos, are not any different from indigenes as the Ukrainian man that the main character meets, stills shows how much of a “Lagos man” he is. 

Essentially, Damilare Kuku has us reeling in our seats with her rife descriptions of the actions of the characters in the collection, and the clear use of Pop Culture and street lingo references, that only a conversant reader would immediately understand. As popular afro-highlife music band, Show Dem Camp puts it, “finding Lagos often seems like it’s the hardest”, referring to how often it is easy to be deceived by potential romantic partners in Lagos, Damilare Kuku reinforces this with Nearly All the Men in Lagos are Mad.

Esther Olamoyegun is a digital marketer with Meiza Nigeria.

Meiza Nigeria