Should Nigerian men kneel when proposing?
The cultural clash shaping modern love, and how the one-knee proposal became a debate.

Picture this: you have been waiting for that big moment, your hair is done, you picked up an outfit you just knew would be perfect for tonight, and of course, your nails were done and carefully designed by your nail tech. During the date, he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a ring, your heart starts racing… and then he just stands there. No one knee, no dramatic pose, just a man, upright, asking you to marry him.
That was the scene that set off a storm online last week, after a Nigerian man flatly refused to kneel to propose to his girlfriend. He argued that it is not part of “our culture”. And just like that, the age-old question resurfaced: must a man kneel to prove his love?
Where did the kneeling tradition come from?
Believe it or not, kneeling to propose is not “Nigerian culture” at all. It actually comes from medieval Europe, where knights would kneel before their queens or lords as a sign of loyalty and respect. Over time, this gesture of submission trickled into romance and became the classic proposal style we now see in movies. Hollywood simply sealed the deal for the rest of the world.
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Traditionally, in many Nigerian cultures, proposals were not about dramatic surprises in restaurants. They were family affairs, with elders, parents, and community members involved. The concept of a man going down on one knee in front of his partner is quite new here, and viewed as an aberration by many people. For the Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, and others, respect and commitment were shown in other ways, often through family introductions, bride price, or symbolic gifts.
The knee-bending debate
Kneeling is non-negotiable for some men. It is the global symbol of romance, thanks to Western movies, Instagram reels, and Pinterest-perfect proposals. To them, skipping it is like skipping cake at a wedding.
One X user wrote: “Is it only Nigerian men that do it? When did this one become a problem again?”
But others side with the upright groom-to-be. In many Nigerian cultures, men are not expected to kneel before women.
Another X user wrote: “I can never do that. It is an act of hypocrisy and irresponsibility.”
In fact, kneeling is often reserved for women showing respect to men or elders. To them, the one-knee proposal is just imported drama, not tradition.
Still, there is more to this than just body posture. To some women, the act of kneeling is less about culture and more about symbolism, a gesture of humility, vulnerability, and, yes, romance. To some men, though, refusing to kneel is about dignity, identity, and not bowing to “foreign” expectations.
And those caught in the middle are couples who simply want the moment to feel authentic. After all, a proposal is a personal matter. Some kneel, some do not, and some even propose together, ring and all.
Beyond the ring
What makes this debate so heated on the internet is not just the act itself but what it represents: the clash between modern romance and traditional values. Just like the arguments over who should cook in a marriage or what women bring to the table in marriages, kneeling to propose is now a cultural fault line.
But maybe we are asking the wrong question. Instead of whether he kneels or not, perhaps the real focus should be on whether he means it. Because at the end of the day, a marriage will need more than good posture to survive.
So, ladies, be honest, would you feel cheated without the knee drop, or does it not matter as long as the ring is on your finger? And to the men in the house, would you kneel because it is what she wants, or would you stand tall in the name of “culture”?
