Every single time that two Nigerian love birds begin their dance of romance, there are bound to be hiccups. This is because it’s a dynamic interplay of emotions when these West African pair start off their bond so both will be finding themselves needing recommendations pushed forward by science instead of nagging until they both fall out forever because of their yearning not being met.

The key to a harmonious relationship according to social and personality research published in the online journal, Wiley, lies in seeing your partner as an extension of yourself and valuing your union above all others.

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It is thought that this perspective fosters a deep sense of commitment, essential for the relationship’s longevity in an era of widespread divorces and lovers drifting apart without efforts to salvage what seems to be broken.

But what happens when this balance is off? When one partner gives too much or too little, it can create a rift that may seem insurmountable which is what authors Laura V. Machia, Kenneth Tan, and Christopher R. Agnew tried to mend in the Compass journal.

The authors say for starters, satisfaction is the fuel that keeps the commitment engine running.

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By enhancing your partner’s satisfaction, you’re likely to see an uptick in their commitment. Simple acts of kindness, expressions of gratitude, and sharing in positive experiences can go a long way. These actions not only bring joy but also reinforce the bond you share.

Moreover, accommodating your partner’s less-than-ideal behaviours and forgiving their slip-ups are acts of love that can strengthen the relationship. Also, sacrificing personal preferences for the betterment of your partner, and by extension, your relationship can elevate their satisfaction and commitment.

Another intriguing aspect is the influence of subjective norms on commitment. Friends’ and family’s perceptions of your relationship can significantly impact your partner’s commitment levels. By fostering positive relationships with your partner’s social circle, you can enhance the sense of community support for your relationship, thereby boosting commitment.

Conversely, if reducing commitment is the goal, highlighting concerns from friends and family or emphasising the challenges facing the relationship can serve as a subtle nudge towards reevaluating the level of commitment.

In essence, maintaining or adjusting commitment in a relationship is a multifaceted endeavour. It requires a blend of emotional intelligence, behavioural adjustments, and sometimes, a strategic approach to influencing perceptions.

Whether one partner aims to deepen the commitment or create some space, the path lies in the doer understanding these dynamics and acting with love and respect towards your partner no matter what.

The goal, the three authors remind, is to achieve a balance where both partners feel fulfilled and nothing short of feeling valued.

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Meiza Nigeria